About Trust
by creepweirdoloser
Summary: "In that case, you should know that it hurts more when you don't tell. You're leaving me out, Ed… and sometimes I have to wonder if you do it because I'm not trustworthy enough, important enough for you…" RoyEd


**A/N: I don't even remember when I wrote this. I didn't even remember I had finished this. But anyways… enjoy, I guess?**

Roy stepped into the bedroom where Ed was standing beside the bed, taking his shirt off. The smile that had ghosted on Roy's lips fell when he saw an ugly bruise on Ed's shoulder. It looked like it was fairly new… and painful. Roy stepped closer and put his hand on top of the mark. "What is this," Roy asked quietly from the young man who startled from the touch.

"What does it look like? Gee, Mustang, go get your eyes fixed…"  
Roy groaned. He wasn't in the mood for smart remarks, not after seeing a bruise like that on Ed.  
"Ed, you know what I mean. How did you get this?"  
Ed swayed away from Roy's touch and climbed into the bed. "I don't remember," he said, not even glancing at Roy. Roy grabbed Ed's arm and forced him to turn around. "Don't lie."  
Ed groaned loudly and glared at Roy. "Fine! You wanna know? Alright! The guy I was chasing during that fucking assignment you gave me hit me with a metal bar. Happy now?"  
With a… metal bar…? Nausea caught Roy's stomach when he imagined Ed getting hit by something like that…

"Why… why didn't you mention any of this on your report?"  
Ed shrugged. "Why should I? I don't see what it would matter since I caught the asshole in the end, didn't I?"  
Roy watched as Ed crawled away from him, under the covers. "You still could've told me…"  
"Why? You'd have only gotten angry and said that shit 'bout how reckless I always am."  
"I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true!"  
Roy closed his eyes and telling himself to _calm down_. Why was that so painfully difficult whenever he was with Ed?

Ed was glaring at Roy when he crawled under the covers and pulled Ed in closer.  
"I'm just worried about you."  
"Yeah, I know… and I didn't want you to worry, so… I didn't tell."  
Sometimes it was also painfully hard trying to understand Ed and how he worked…  
"Of course I'll worry. Do you expect me to just… I don't know; shrug it off when you could've get yourself killed _again_?"  
"How should I know! But you always get so damn upset even though you can see I'm FINE!"  
"You know why? Because I'm _afraid_! That one time, one day, you'll be _too_ reckless… that I'll lose you. And I know you think you're doing me a favor, that you're saving me from getting upset by not telling these things, right?"  
Ed turned around to look at Roy, with a slightly confused expression. "Yeah, I guess…"

"In that case, you should know that it hurts more when you don't tell. You're leaving me out, Ed… and sometimes I have to wonder if you do it because I'm not trustworthy enough, important enough for you…"  
"Stop that bullshit, of course you are! I just don't want to pile all this shit on you when I know you've got enough of it already…"  
"Ed… when in relationships, it's not only about the good things. The ups. It's also bad things, the downs… the most important thing is sharing them, trusting yourself with that other person… that together you'll get through it, whatever it is."

Ed was looking at him, with his eyebrows wrinkled like every time when he was thinking hard about something. "So… can you promise me to tell if something has happened to you?"  
"I can't promise something like that," Ed said immediately, with a defiant look in his eyes.  
Roy sighed. "Do you even want to be with me?"  
"That has nothing to do with – "  
" – Just answer the damn question, Ed!"  
"Yes!"  
"Then why won't you trust me?"  
"Huh? I do, I trust you."  
"Oh really? Then why are you keeping things from me? Trusting means sharing…"  
"I just… don't want you to leave," Ed said so quietly that Roy had to make sure he had heard correctly. There was pain tingling in those words, in Ed's expression and Roy sighed again, wondering how in one moment he could be _so frustrated _with Ed and in the next moment he was hoping him to never leave Roy's side.

"That's the thing, Ed… you won't run away even when things get serious and even if you manage to upset the other one… when sharing things, no matter what it is, it's supposed to strengthen the relationship, not to destroy it. If it does destroy it, well… it wasn't a good relationship in the beginning, was it?"  
Ed nodded a bit. "Oh… I'm getting it."  
Roy smiled and ran his fingers through Ed's hair. "You can tell me _everything_, always. And trust me, trust that I won't run away, no matter what you say. Because no matter what you'll say… I'll just want to be with you even more. And that's the truth. Okay?"  
Ed looked at him for a while, as if he didn't believe what he was hearing. But then he just said: "Okay…"  
And buried his face against Roy's chest.

"Will you tell me the next time?"  
Ed glanced up at him. "I…" Roy watched the feelings running across his face, and then Ed said: "I will."  
"Good," Roy said and kissed Ed's hair.  
"Only…"  
Roy glanced at Ed, with his eyebrow raised, waiting for him to give his terms.  
"Only if you promise to tell me too. Equivalent exchange," he said with a serious face.  
Some found it funny that Ed kept on saying those two words like a mantra. That in everything he could find it, demand it, equivalent exchange. But Roy understood him; he was an alchemist too, after all. Maybe his faith in equivalent exchange had faltered through the years but it was always there. The need to have it in every part of his life.

"I promise. Equivalent exchange."  
With those words, Ed seemed to relax and he mumbled: "Good", before he quickly fall asleep, his body against Roy.


End file.
